Darts, anyone?
by eXtreme shipper
Summary: Agent Fox Mulder decides to start the working day off a little differently...


Title: Darts, anyone?  
Author: eXtreme shipper  
E-mail: vaskezz@bigpond.net.au  
Rating: PG  
Classification: Mulder/Scully romance Humor  
Spoilers: Tooms, Fire, Lazarus, The End, Never Again.   
Keywords: MSR  
Disclaimer: All the characters within this story are not mine, they were not created by me. They were created and are owned by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network. I am just a Shipper taking them out for a bit of fun!  
Summary: Agent Fox Mulder decides to start the working day off a little differently…  
Feedback: Yes, I'd love to hear from you! All responses replied to.  
  
Author's Note: I had this idea bouncing around in my mind for a while until I caught the sucker and pinned it up on the computer before you.   
  
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Darts, anyone? by eXtreme shipper  
  
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Special Agent Dana Scully opened the door to the office she shared with her partner of seven years and stopped in the doorway. Mulder was not at his desk. She frowned slightly, Mulder was always at his desk. She was about to open her mouth to speak, when she heard a voice in the darkness.   
  
"Were you born in a barn, Scully? Close the door, you're letting the flies in."   
Mulder's voice came from an undetermined location in the office. Somewhere in   
the partition beyond the desk. Scully walked in, closed the door behind her, and   
was rewarded by a light flicked on by Mulder. He was grinning, an absurdly large   
grin, far too early for this time of the morning. Scully knew by the very nature   
of his grins that she would be in for it today.   
  
"Mulder..." She said warningly, clicking over to him  
  
Pfft! Sang the dart as if flew through the air, into a dartboard on the wall of   
the office, just beyond the filing cabinet.   
  
Scully's mouth dropped open. There Mulder stood, with about six darts waiting to   
be thrown in his hand, grinning at her.   
  
"Wha la! Do you like?" He asked, and threw another dart into the board. Scully's   
mouth dropped even further. She couldn't believe this...   
  
"Mulder, what... where did that come from?" She asked, absolutely flabbergasted,   
shaking her head in disbelief.   
  
Another dart hit the board, but it bounced away. Mulder had to skip to the side   
to avoid being stabbed by it. He gestured to Scully quickly, holding out an arm   
to her.   
  
"Here, come stand back here and I'll tell ya." He said, waggling his hand at   
her. Scully could only comply, moving slightly behind Mulder, still staggered at   
what she was seeing. Then again, this was Mulder, king of the bizarre. And it   
was only a dartboard, not some voodoo thingy hanging up.   
  
"Okay, so there I was at like three in the morning," Pfft said another dart,   
"Awake and bored. I couldn't very well wake up the Gunmen, the last time I tried   
that I got feedback back down the line to my ear, punishing it severely. Choice   
two, ring you, and get the same," Pfft, said another dart, hitting the wall.  
  
"Mulder..." Scully moved to interrupt, but Mulder kept on going.   
  
"And so I found myself in the only open department store in town, where they had   
things going at 20% off. And then I see this dartboard! And I get this idea,   
wild and crazy. You're gonna love this, Scully."  
  
Scully rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Oh, some how I doubt it very much."   
  
Mulder handed her all of the remaining darts, pulled those out from the board   
and from the wall next to it, and then picked up a sheet of paper from the top   
of the filing cabinet. He held it up to her.   
  
It was a picture of the Smoking Man aka CancerMan aka CGB Spender.   
  
Now Scully got it. And she smiled in disbelief!  
  
"Oh my God!" She exclaimed, laughing. Mulder pinned it to the board and moved   
back to her, saying into her ear,  
  
"I was waiting for you to arrive, you get the first shot, Scully."  
  
Scully looked back at him, still smiling, but frowning a little.  
  
"Mulder... I... I'm not like..." She began, but Mulder gently patted her shoulder, looking at her softly, his clear hazel eyes shining with life.  
  
"I know, Scully. I'm not either. It's not really him. Just a scan photo. It's a   
way of getting some anger and frustration out of your system."   
  
Scully's eyebrow rose, "Anger and frustration, Mulder? Who said I was angry and   
frustrated?"   
  
Mulder just nodded towards the dart board.   
  
"Come on, Scully. Let him have it, I want my shot."   
  
Scully shook her head.   
  
"I don't believe I'm doing this. Okay, Mulder..." She said, and then lined up her shot. She moved her hand back and forth a few times and then let the dart fly.   
  
It struck him dead centre of the board, in his nose.   
  
Mulder laughed, cupping his hands and giving her a grand stadium cheer, "Yes,   
and the crowd goes wild!"   
  
Scully handed him a dart, and stood back to watch him throw. He moved right   
back, studying the picture closely. Scully studied him closely, knowing what   
terrible feelings would be roused just by looking at him. Death, pain, torment.   
However very little of it passed across his face. He threw the dart, hitting him   
just above one eye.   
  
"Take that, Marlboro Man wannabe!" Mulder spat, but he was smiling, almost   
cheerful. The mood was catchy. Scully took a dart, Mulder only too happy to let   
her throw as many as she wanted. He was glad she was enjoying this...   
  
Scully's dart hit him dead centre of his forehead, she not meaning it to be a   
kill shot, but reminiscent of a certain bad word she had heard once. Mulder knew   
exactly what she had meant, and laughed heartily.   
  
"Do you think that highly of him, Scully?" He laughed.   
  
"Oh yeah, he's my hero." Scully glowered, smiling.   
  
They took it in turns to lob darts into a photoscan of their arch enemy for the   
next five minutes, forgetting all about the waiting paperwork that was already   
overdue. After it became so tattered they could no longer recognise who it was,   
Mulder went to the new scanner he'd bought along with the dartboard. Scully   
caught on quickly.   
  
"Oh no... who's next, Mulder?" She asked, laughing under her hand. She was   
surprised at how much fun she was having. The light flashed as it scanned the   
photo and soon a new print out was fed from the printer.   
  
"Do we remember this guy?" He asked. Scully's jaw dropped for the second time   
that morning.   
  
"Tooms?!" She exclaimed. Mulder pinned Tooms' head up on the dart board.  
  
"Oh yes, Mr Stretchy Man himself." Mulder commented, "The man who could kiss his own ass with ease, which explains his face."   
  
Scully shook her head with laughter and got to the darts first. She lobbed her   
first, glancing at Mulder.   
  
"You know, this could be construed as kind of violent. A sort of," Pfft said   
another dart, "Angsty release of sorts, oh damn, I was going for his nose."   
  
"How about the beady eyes?" Mulder offered over her shoulder.   
  
"You do the beady eyes, I want that..." Pfft, "Ah got him! Ha ha!"  
  
"My turn, Scully, quit hogging!" Mulder whined, and took his spot. He fired   
three darts in rapid succession into Tooms' head. Scully found herself laughing   
at his antics, Mulder was delivering each shot with a different but wacky face,   
and then finishing off his throwing with a little twist which looked extremely   
funny coming from a man as lanky as he was.   
  
"Things you do to get out of paperwork." Scully mumbled as the last dart stuck   
into Tooms' neck.   
  
"Scully, this is paperwork." Mulder exclaimed, handing Scully the last lot of   
darts so he could go over to the scanner once more. Scully eyed him briefly as   
he searched through his files for another photo, and then returned her attention   
to the dartboard.   
  
"And I guess it will be me handing in these very punctured likenesses of our   
former case studies to Skinner?" She voiced, lining up a shot. Mulder had found   
a photo to scan and was staring intently at the scanner as it made a copy. He   
chanced a very quick glance at Scully, and then pressed the print button.   
  
"Er... while we're taking out our frustrations on likenesses of our former case   
studies, here's one more you might particularly like to puncture repeatedly."   
Mulder said, but the humour had faded from his voice. When Scully looked back at   
him she was shocked to see a mixture of guilt and fear on his handsome face.   
Scully's eyebrow rose immediately. She clacked over to the printer to take the   
photoscan.  
  
It was of Mulder.  
  
She stared at him, her eyebrow climbing even higher, she holding the print out   
up.   
  
"What is this?!" She demanded to know. Mulder bit his lower lip, his expression   
of guilt only deepening upon his face. He looked down to his shoes.   
  
"I... After all the stuff I've caused you, the times I've..." He voice broke a   
little, "Ditched you... I thought that you might.."  
  
"Shut up, Mulder." Scully said sharply, gaining his attention once more, her   
face deadly serious. She stepped in closer to him, still holding the photoscan,   
and put a hand to his cheek very softly, rubbing it a little.   
  
"I..." Scully began, but then closed her mouth, just shaking her head, her eyes   
searching his. She saw endless guilt and pain in his...   
  
"There is only one place for this one to go." She said at last, moving away to   
her desk. She placed the picture in front of her computer, arranging it nicely   
against the keyboard, where she had a good view of it.   
  
Mulder didn't know what to say, he could only search Scully's face for answers,   
not daring to hope what he thought she meant was true. That the only place for   
him was with her...   
  
Scully moved over to Mulder's desk and began going through the files herself,   
looking for a particular photo.   
  
"Now, here's someone who deserves to be punctured a little..." Scully said, giving Mulder an enormous smile, complete with eyebrow raise, as she scanned a new photo. Mulder was smiling again. He dashed to the desk and tried to peek under the scanner lid, but Scully blocked his path with herself, smiling wider now.   
  
"Uh uh, no peeking! You wait!" She said, holding Mulder's arms from slipping   
around her to lift up the scanner lid.   
  
"Oh, but Scuulllyyyy..." Mulder whined, and let her push him slightly back.   
  
Scully quickly grabbed the printout from the printer and held it up.  
  
Mulder's eyes nearly fell out of his head.  
  
"Phoebe Green!!!" He exclaimed.   
  
Scully clacked over to the dart board and pinned her up, grinning at her own evilness of thinking of it in the first place. She had to admit, it was something she had always wanted to do...   
  
"Dart, please." Scully said, and lopped a dart straight into her head. Mulder laughed out loud, unable to believe who it was Scully had printed out to dole out punishment on...  
  
He stared for the briefest instant, and then grabbed a whole handful of darts, taking up his place. He took on a completely professional dart player's pose and then ruined it with a comical grimace of concentration. He then machine-gun fired multiple darts into his ex, to Scully's sheer delight. He smiled at her laugh, and her attempts to cover the laugh up.   
  
When he was out of darts he just watched Scully laughing for a minute, having to resist the urge to hug her. In the last second a deliciously evil idea popped into his head and he raced for his files and the scanner.   
  
Scully plucked the darts out of Phoebe's now mangled face as the scanner flashed light once more, giving them a new target. Mulder held the print out up.  
  
Now it was Scully's turn to shriek.   
  
"Jack Willis!!!" She cried, laughing despite herself.   
  
"Oh yeah, he's getting an ass whooping." Mulder declared, pinning him up with   
relish.   
  
"Kidnap my partner, will you??! Take this!" He declared, and began his assault.   
Scully stood open mouthed as Mulder took some belated revenge on her ex, and he   
seemed to be enjoying every second of it. After he was done he brushed some imaginary dust off of his hands, looking very pleased with himself.   
  
Scully rose an eyebrow at him, although the smile hadn't left her face.  
  
"Okay, Mulder." She said, going back over to the files and began looking through them, "I have one for the dartboard..."  
  
Mulder waited eagerly for the print out to appear, wondering just who could possibly be on Dana Scully's hit list now? He dropped the dart he was holding when he saw who it was Scully was pinning up next.   
  
Agent Diana Fowley's face smiled back from the dart board, Scully pressing the last pin in with a satisfied smirk. She walked back to Mulder and took some darts.   
  
"Forgive me for speaking badly of the dead, but..." Scully said, and then hurled darts into Diana's nose.   
  
Mulder closed his mouth and looked at Scully.   
  
"I'd better open the other packet of darts." He said simply, and smiled to   
himself as he went to get them, Scully's laugher filling the dark basement   
office.   
  
"Oh yeah... I might even have to go back to the store." Mulder continued, seeing   
Scully delighted, yet looking guilty for being so delighted. Mulder pointed at   
her.  
  
"Oh no, she deserves everything we dish out, no feeling sorry, Scully." He   
berated her, coming back with more darts. He paused before throwing one, looking   
back at Scully, understanding all of the implications of this little Diana   
bashing session. Without letting himself think about it first, Mulder leaned in   
to kiss Scully on the forehead and give her a brief hug. Her arms slid around   
him and squeezed him right back, she smiling into his face.   
  
With new vigour, Mulder launched into his most expressive dart throwing pose yet, winding his arm back like a baseball pitcher at the mound. Scully couldn't help but laugh at this, he was even raising his leg in the right stance. He hurled the dart so hard it detached all of the other darts still sticking in, to Scully's applause.   
  
"Way to go, Fox Mantle!" She laughed. She took possession of the darts as Mulder once again went back to the files.   
  
"Mulder, we're going through them kind of fast, don't you think? I mean, some of them are hardly even disfigured." Scully observed, trying to pierce Diana's left eyebrow.   
  
"We do have a lot to go through, Scully. There's only so many hours in a day."   
Mulder grinned, and then swore under his breath, "Damn, it's not here. Okay,   
Scully. Don't laugh at my lack of artistic expression..." Mulder began drawing on a blank piece of paper.   
  
Scully looked over as Mulder finished and held it up for her appreciation. It   
was little more than a stick man, with a squiggle on one arm and an evil grin.   
Under it he had written 'ED JERSE'.  
  
Scully gaped at the new target, laughing despite herself.   
  
"Mulder!" She exclaimed, "You never even met Ed!"   
  
Mulder looked at her, deadly serious, "I didn't need to, Scully." He pinned it   
up over Diana's now tattered face.   
  
Scully's eyebrow rose, realising what the squiggle on the arm represented. The   
talking tattoo.   
  
"This one's mine, Scully." Mulder said, opening a desk drawer and brought out   
the big guns. Scully's eyes grew huge when he saw him bring out three bright   
green lawn darts!  
  
She totally lost it. The sight of her partner sauntering over to the dartboard,   
the goofiest gangster-grin on his face, was too much for her to hold in. She had   
to hold her sides as she laughed, her laughter only egged Mulder on further.   
He pulled up his shirt sleeves and aimed the huge dart like you would a javelin,   
and let it fly. The impact of the giant dart sent the entire dart board crashing   
to the ground, making Scully laugh even harder.   
  
Mulder stood there and grinned as Scully fought to regain control of herself,   
wiping away tears that were streaming from her eyes. He got her some tissues and   
leaned back against his desk, watching his normally stoic, composed partner   
looking happier than he had seen her in quite a while.   
  
"My god, Mulder... that was so funny! I think you broke the board!" She said,   
trying not to start laughing all over again. Mulder bit his lip, knowing that   
soon the laughing would have to stop. They'd have to get back to work, back to   
normal. The opportunity would pass, just like every other one over the last   
seven years... unless he did something NOW.   
  
Scully watched Mulder move around his desk once more and grab another piece of   
paper.   
  
"Oh oh, I don't think the board can take much more abuse, Mulder..." Scully said smiling. She surprised herself by saying it, normally the first thing out of her mouth would have been, 'Let's stop this nonsense and get back to work'. But the morning had been so... fun. She had forgotten what fun felt like. Truthfully, she didn't want it to end just yet, Mulder was...  
  
Mulder was holding up his piece of paper now. He was staring intently at her,   
his eyes shining and full of hope, his face full of fear. Scully's eyes scanned   
the piece of paper slowly, and then looked at Mulder.   
  
The paper read 'Fox Mulder loves Dana Scully 4 EVA.'   
  
Mulder smiled shyly at her as she searched his eyes, walking closer to him.   
  
"I er... it's a stupid way to say it, I know... I just, thought it would fit in with this morning's theme... Scully, I..." Mulder began, but Scully silenced him with a finger on his lips. She had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. She closed the distance between them quickly to settle against his chest in an embrace, holding Mulder as tightly as she could. Mulder closed his eyes, allowing a tear of his own to slide down his face as he wrapped himself around her, breathing out in a shuddering sigh of relief.   
  
Scully turned them slightly sideways so she could reach the table with a free   
arm and do her best to reply to his expression of love in kind. Mulder could   
have peeked, being taller than her, but he didn't. He settled for nuzzling her   
head, revelling in the feeling of her in his arms. She pulled back a little when   
she was done, holding the piece of paper up for him to see.   
  
'Scully loves Mulder back (and with NO darts)' it read.   
  
Mulder's face melted when he read it. He kissed her forehead tenderly, bringing   
her back against him once more.   
  
"For EVA, Scully?" He whispered.   
  
"For EVA and EVA." Scully replied, rubbing his back, sighing contentedly in his   
arms.   
  
The creak of their office door opening caught both of their attentions, they   
turning to see Assistant Director Skinner standing in the door way. He did not   
look amused.   
  
"I have been waiting for over ten..." He began, but the words quickly dropped away from his tongue as he saw the affectionate embrace of his agents. Mulder   
sheepishly held up his 'Fox Mulder loves Dana Scully 4 EVA' page, and Scully   
could only do the same, not seeing much point in denying anything at this stage. Skinner removed his glasses, seeming to be on the verge of blasting them, when he spied the dart board on the floor. Without saying anything he moved across the office to pick it up.   
  
Mulder bit his lip, sharing a brief glance with Scully, still in his arms, and   
looked back to the Director.   
  
"I can explain..." He began, but Skinner silenced him with a finger. Skinner   
unpinned the two pictures from the dart board, and then looked for the   
inevitable pile that would have preceded them.   
  
"Sir, Agent Mulder and I..." Scully began, but Skinner shook his head.  
  
"Not another word, agents." He barked, flipping through the mangled pages. He   
put them back down, amazingly looking a little relieved, and moved back to the   
doorway.   
  
"Just checking," Skinner said, gesturing towards the pile, "Carry on." Skinner   
said, and then left the room, closing the door behind him.  
  
Mulder and Scully could only stare at one another open mouthed in amazement.   
  
  
The End. 


End file.
